Shirley Miller
My story of overcoming life’s curveballs
and learning to balance mind, body and soul so I could love myself inside and out.
As a child and growing up I had so much thrown at me, I was sexually assaulted by a close family member when I was under 5, then the same family member used sexual innuendos as I developed through my teen years. I knew it wasn’t right, my Dad didn’t do this to me, but I loved him and naively didn’t know how wrong it was at the time.
Being a redhead (it was thick and curly) and wearing glasses I suffered from bullying at school. I was shy and reserved so would sit in the playground on my own as it was easier just to watch than risk the name calling. I was different to my siblings because of my quietness, to the point I thought I was adopted.
My teenage years of bordering on dressing like a tomboy and not having any dress sense, I didn’t enjoy looking at myself in the mirror.
My adulthood had its share of curveballs – whilst at university, 35 years old 2 children under 5, I decided to end my marriage I’d rather be alone than unhappy. After completing my degree I moved counties with my young children. In a job that was rewarding yet stressful I found myself being made redundant. I was obese and needed a glass of wine when I got home from that job. I was made bankrupt which sent me into a dark hole. I thought of running away and that my children (now older) would be better off without such a failure as a mother. I felt unloved and unlovable!
The saying ‘nothings changes if nothing changes’, and I knew the change had to start with me. I was always smiling as that was my nature but that didn’t mean I was happy. So I started to take small steps to change and heal from my past (present). It all started with the book The Secret and I realised I was attracting to me some of my circumstances.
I was taught a breathing technique which helped clear my mind. This lead to meditation and Reiki, once I qualified as a Reiki practitioner I could unblock my emotions and the healing process began. Doing the Holistic Modalities course with TCM was amazing for the healing as we had to coach each other. This was invaluable for my development.
I used tools to enable me to accept being treated differently was good as it gave me my inner strength. I learnt that my positivity had helped me through my childhood traumas, bad things didn’t make bad people.
I realised that it didn’t matter what people thought of me as long as I loved myself. I embraced my quirkiness and developed my own style.
Now I am happy to look at myself in the mirror and even blow myself a kiss! I have the confidence to tackle anything that life throws at me. My sleep pattern is good, my health is great both physical and mental.
I am at peace with my past and know it was just lessons that needed to be learnt. I can easily balance my mind, body and soul. No longer anxious about my day or future. If I feel off balance I know I have the tools to correct this, bringing peace and contentment.